Sponge bath it is.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
