So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just want to make out with him forever
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
