The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize