She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
