no, he came in my armpit
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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