Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
