I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
