So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
