is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
