she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
