Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
