How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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