the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
God, I missed his penis.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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