Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
