Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
