break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
