Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
