lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
