Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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