He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
