How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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