my sisters under your porch take her home
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
