How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
