So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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