Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
