He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
