There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
