I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
