How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
