Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
