you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
