My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
