I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
