Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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