I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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