Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize