if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
