Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
