not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
