I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
