so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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