the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
