so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
