Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
