but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
