I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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