I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
