Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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