i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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