Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
