Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
