After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize