I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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