my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
