so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
