It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
