So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
