I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he fucked my hip out of place.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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