Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
