yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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