So drunk its hurt
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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