He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
