Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
