Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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